gen·tle·ness (noun)

1. softness of action or effect; lightness. 2. the quality of being kind, tender, and mild-mannered.

Troubles in life can make us cranky and out of sorts, but we really should not excuse ourselves our bouts of bad behavior because they can wither the hearts of those we love and spread misery like a contagion. We have not fulfilled our duty to others until we've learned to be pleasant, or in other words, gentle.

Gentleness manifests as an acceptance of those things (or people) that make us cranky. There's an accepting our own limitations and ailments, and a resistance to taking it out on the rest of the world. Gentleness shows up as gratitude for the smallest act of kindness, and as tolerance for people who don't serve us well. It can be silent. When it speaks, it speaks softly, especially when provoked. Gentleness has an air of lightness, opposing heaviness. Gentleness has an air of lightness, opposing darkness.

As wintertime draws us indoors, we slow our pace to conserve energy, and we have less daylight in our days. We welcome the opportunity to pause. Holidays are celebrated. Schools close for a few weeks to children's delight. Nature sheds it's summertime glory and readies for hibernation and rest. We take our cue from nature, draw inside and gather around a blazing fire, cheeks flushed and hearts warmed in soulful celebration. The holidays come and go, and the new year arrives with hope and promise. Here we take inventory, acknowledging all aspects of our lives (both light and dark), connecting with our heart and letting go of the things that don't serve us. It's a time of reflection, drawing inward, setting intentions for the year ahead.

How do we set an intention toward gentleness? Do we include the practice to ourselves? What would it look like? Less intolerance, more kindness? More light, less darkness? Letting go of that which doesn't serve us well (like regret, or anger)? Accepting our and others’ limitations? Practicing gratitude? Having a sense of humor about ourselves? Extending a helping hand to someone in need?

Try these 3 yoga poses to enhance this gentle approach to letting go of the past and looking ahead to the future.

1. Supported Child's Pose (Balasana)

Soothing to the nervous system, calming for the mind, child's pose is a time of stillness, letting go, and setting intention. Place two stacked blocks underneath a bolster and lay down chest first on the bolster, head on bolster above blocks. Let your knees bend underneath you, each knee wide beside the bolster. Turn your face to one side. Allow your mind to wander to what's important to you. Stay as long as you like. Breathe.

2. Humble Warrior

Humble Warrior is perhaps the most powerful and challenging standing hip opener and forward fold. Standing in Warrior I, interlace your hands behind your back; inhaling, roll your chest up, and exhaling, bow inside your front leg.

With the arms extending overhead and the crown of your head lengthening toward the floor, lift the sides of your waist up as you bow.

Forward folds have a reflective nature; they turn you back into yourself, giving you the opportunity to reflect. Standing Warriors help us know our own strength, while hip openers ground us. Humble Warrior is an awesome combination of all three.

A fierce and at the same time humbling pose, Humble Warrior draws on all of your strength and focus, but also requires a softening—a giving in to the experience. Try resting in Child’s Pose after a Humble Warrior and notice the effects.

3. Legs Up the Wall (Viparita Karani)

One of the foundations of yoga is breathing. Legs Up the Wall is a restorative posture to help you unwind & clear your mind. Begin seated perpendicular to a wall. Bend knees and lie back on the floor. Pivot torso and extend your legs up the wall so your hips and legs rest against it. Your arms rest next to you, palms up. Stay 5 minutes or more, then make your way to savasana (lying still on your mat on your back).

Svadhayaya is a discipline (known in yoga as niyamas) of self-study. Basically the idea is the better you know yourself, the more likely you'll be able to have control over your actions, thoughts, and emotions. It makes you a better world citizen and more mindful of your responsibilities, like our duty to be gentle to others (and ourselves).